So, I have a great God-story to share. It would be great to write some blogs to catch you up to this point, but I may have to catch you up later. This is just so good I don't want to not post it. :) So...
Yesterday, I woke up in a bit of a funk b/c I was just confused about some things regarding the future. I had just read and even had a time of singing response with Christina and Julie to the verses in Matthew 6 about seeking the Kingdom first, my Father knowing just what I need, and not worrying about tomorrow...yet I still found myself worrying about tomorrow and the next day and the day after. We found out that the thing I was staying here a bit longer for had just been postponed. This totally messed up "my plans" and was such a curve ball in my trusting in His plans and not worrying. I told Christina that I found myself being negative. The day went on and I went to the Hundai dealership to pick up the part on my car that I had ordered (someone apparently took it off of my car and the Hundai people said it looked like they tried to break in my car). Before I went in to the dealership, I'd been singing a chorus that Julie made up when we were singing to Matthew 6. It goes like this: "They say to put you on the side. But I say, you're like the burger with my fries. You're the main course, yeah. You're the main course..." :) I was hit with joy...I think that chorus had something to do with it...but it was like joy I'd never felt before. I just wanted to give it to everyone!! I've had people pray over me that I am very joyful/ have the gift of joy, but I've always wished I felt that joy more. But, boy did I feel it!!
After the dealership, I went to Taco Bell and I just had this joy BUBBLING inside of me! I didn't know what to do with it. I wanted to go sit with the old couple near me and just give it to them. I didn't but wished i had when they got up to leave, so I thought about chasing them...but didn't. I had NO reason (in the natural) to be joyful..really I should have been freaking out or writing down all of my options, etc. After Taco Bell, I went to this church for their prayer and worship night. I was early, so I sat outside. I journaled and prayed to the Lord about not knowing what to do with this joy, but wanting Him to use it to touch people's hearts and draw them closer to He who is the giver of true joy. This man came up and started talking to me about the racoons that had been around the table where I was. So, I immediately got up (I do not like racoons!). As we were talking, that joy and love continued to bubble and I so wanted it to spill out onto him. So, I asked him his name and told him about how much His Father God loves him and that I would love to pray for him. He told me that he was working (cleaning, etc.), so I asked him how I could pray and said I would do so on my own. He said he wanted prayer for "a better life". I told him about the abundant life in Jesus and how even washing toilets with the Lord can be amazing as you know you are storing up for yourself riches in Heaven and that the One who loves you the most is with you as you do so. I talked to him about how everything is better with constant communication with the Lord. He asked me if I'd be around and I told him about the church service I was going to. I don't know if he made it as it was pouring rain when I left early, but I know the Lord loves Marvin and longs to give him abundant life. Please pray for Marvin. I was thrilled to have shared a bit of the Love the Lord has for him with him.
Then I went by the door where there were people waiting to get in. A woman came up and was upset that it was locked b/c she had to go to the bathroom. I talked to her a bit and she seemed very weary but still friendly. When we were inside we talked a bit more and ended up talking about why I was in GA. I shared a bit about the House of Prayer and she said, "Prayer? 24/7? Oh, I need the address!" So, I gave her the web address and we continued talking the next 30 minutes or so until the worship service started. She talked with me about my joy and how she needed it and how much Jesus was touching her heart through it. The more I shared about IHOP and the things God had been sharing with me, she said I'd given her a steak to chew on. :) I think I will see her at IHOP on Monday. She said it sounded like just what she'd been desiring.
Then I go in to the worship service. I was sitting down but decided to go in the back corner facing the wall (so i felt like no one was watching except my King) and dance as I praised Him. I did not know why, but I just really wanted to dance. They had this song with lyrics: "Bring your peace. Bring your joy..." This is what I wrote in my journal: "I thought of how those (peace and joy) are the 2 things I feel like Satan is trying to take from me and as I danced, I felt like it was a statement that I'm going to dance in the peace and joy that are mine even in the unknown." I was asking the Lord if there was something to this dancing in a time like this and if my dancing did anything in the spiritual realms the way a song of the Lord or prayers do.
So, then I have my individual prayer time with three prayer ministers from churches around Atlanta. They were listening to the heart of God for people as they encouraged them through prayer. They didn't ask me anything about myself and had not been in the worship room, so they had not seen me dancing at all. It was carzy. The first guy said he had an image of a banquet and the banqueting table. This spoke to me about intimacy with God, as scripture talks about the banqueting table of the King and being invited to it. To be invited to a King's banqueting table is a high honor and a sign of closeness with him. Many do not know this closeness. They may see others having it or not even know it exists. They either know God as more distant than He is or they do not know Him at all. Often times our view of who God is keeps us from truly knowing Him and His affections for us. There is a song I know that goes like this: He brought me to His banqueting table and His banner over me is Love." Another one that goes like this: "Come to the table. He's waiting for you to come. Come to the table and dine with the King..." Those songs were going through my mind as he prayed about this. Then he prayed about how I would dance at this banquet even in the worries, etc. This other guy prayed about me being a powersource to God's people - the weak and weary coming and being recharged in Him and how I knew how to enjoy my Father's presence and many did not and God was using me to bring others into that closeness with Him. They were praying a lot about joy and dancing and this lady was saying how when God gives me that joy and dance in the times of trouble, doubt, or fear, it is obvious that He is giving it because there's no other way I would have it. I felt the Lord really highlighting this joy and dancing in the hard times as something He was giving me for more than just that day and especially for the next season. Not so sure why, but I trust Him and will dance and praise through the doubt to get back to that place of trust.
So, then I go to IHOP and find out that I had nothing to freak out about and the thing they were postponing will all work out for me. I know God had me go through all of that though because it brought out a lot of doubt and freaking out that I was shoving away. Well, when I got to my Aunt's house, I felt like God said, "Chapter 7" about a book I had (After God's Own Heart). It turns out chapter 7 was one of the only chapters I had read. It's all on Mary of Bethany (a woman whose story has always touched and encouraged my heart...a woman of true devotion and love for Jesus). Since I'd read it and it was late, I thought, "Well, I'll just read the little side notes in the boxes. The first one I saw (not the first one in order), said this: "Joyful intimacy with God is the great power source of the Kingdom of God." WHAT?!!!? "Joyful, Intimacy, Power source!" Man, when God wants to say something, He doesn't mess around. :) He hasn't answered some of my directional questions the way I may have wanted, but He has remided me of the way He has equiped me to fight all lies of the enemy and doubts and fears that creep in. Nehemiah says, "The joy of the Lord is my strength!" Yeah it is!! He is saying, "Dance!, Have joy and share it with others, even and especially in the times that Satan is almost succeeding in taking it away from you. This is a gift I've given you and a gift I desire to give to others through you." I say, "Yes and thank you, Lord! Help me trust and dance with you and bring you glory through it all!!"
Well, I pray that this encourages you and that God speaks to your heart about drawing nearer to the King who sya, "Come to the table and dine with Me." I also pray you will join me in taking hold of the joy that He has given us and sharing it (and He who gave it to us) with others. We so often walk around just like everyone else with eyes on the seen and temporary and not on the Eternal. We look just like everyone else and freak out in the same way while others around us wonder if there really is such thing as True Joy and True Peace and True Love. We must take hold of it and claim what has been given to us. Don't just put aside this gift. Hold it, shake it, open it up and then tell everyone about it, share it. Let them see you with it! We can't be like salt without its flavor or lamps under a bowl (Matthew 5:14-16). We are just like those without Hope when we get caught up in the temporal cares without praising our Perfect Leader who knows just what we need. I am telling you all this to encourage you but also so you can remind me when I freak out again to dance and trust! :)
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